EDUCATION OF GIFTED AND TALENTED CHILDREN’S PARENTS (1)

2002

SIDIKA AKDEMIR ARTS AND SCIENCE INSTITUTION

COUNSELLING SERVICE

EXPERT IN PSYCHOLOGY AND COUNSELLING

Ahmet BİLDİREN

Dear Parents,

It cannot be rejected that it is very important for today and future of our country to make gifted and talented children develop their capacities and use them at the highest level.

Giftedness and talentedness are necessary but never adequate for children to be successful scientists, businessmen and artists. When giftedness and talentedness come together with other factors, they become a power for people. In fact, gifted and talented children are a risky group. If their high mental potentials are developed and directed correctly, they can serve as successful citizens for our country and for the whole humanity. Otherwise, it is possible for them to be problem people who cannot get on well with other people.

For that reason, it is necessary that we know the traits and necessities of the gifted or talented children and know which attitudes their families and teachers should show towards them and develop education methods which can meet their needs for special education and can adapt to their learning speed. So, it is beneficial to their growing up and happiness that you take some special measures as being parents.

The counselling service of our institution has some advice to give you which will help you. I hope that you will take care of these. I would like to thank you for your efforts and give my best regards.

Erkan ERDİK

Principal of the Institution

‘My child learned reading when he was 4 or 5. He always asked questions to us. We understood that he was different. Now he is in the 3^rd grade. He doesn’t like his classmates. He makes friend with the children older than him. He thinks that lessons are unnecessary. He doesn’t study lesson systematically. But his marks are very good. He always puts forward interesting ideas. He criticises and judges everything. When we start to argue about something, he talks as if he was an adult.’

‘A mother’

Your child was always different from his peers. He began talking before your friends’ children. When he just learned walking, he could remember the details of stories and repeat them exactly. He was always curious and he had a great sense of humour. As parents, you didn’t know how you would behave towards him.

Now your child was identified as gifted in Arts and Science Institution and you have learned that your child is gifted. So, what does it mean to you? From now on, how will your relations be with your child? How can you help him use his potential completely? Are you lucky since you have a gifted child?

In order to answer these questions, you should know general traits of gifted children well. Gifted children are also good at physical, psychological and social adaptation. In addition to this, they are generally successful in intellectual activities. Their traits are summarized as follows:

1-Richness of Their Vocabulary and Correct Usage of Words

Common point of definitions of giftedness made by many experts is that they have the ability to use language. To speak correctly at an early age, to have a rich vocabulary and to tell something with its details are signs of this ability. Gifted children speak more accurately than their peers. They speak as if they were adults. Have you ever experienced it when you have argued?

2-Ability to Generalize

It is the ability to understand all elements in general and grasp the meaning in every circumstance.

3-Ability to Think Abstractly

It is the ability to understand metaphors. They grasp abstract items faster and more correctly than their peers. At an unexpected moment, they can argue with you about democracy.

4-Having Insight into Problems

Insight directs a person to solve problems quickly and correctly because it makes the person discover origins of the problem.

A gifted child realizes quickly whether another child is happy or unhappy, or realizes that he is supercilious and he behaves accordingly.

When his parents argue with each other, a gifted child can observe the argument and realize who is right. The best thing to do for you is to be careful.

5-Ability to Reason Something Out

It is the ability to consider reasonable relations and to make a deduction.

6-Ability to Solve Problems

It involves all abilities we have mentioned above. Gifted children’ abilities to solve problems have developed. You can consider maths problems first to test your child’s ability. But don’t start to ask swimming pool water problems to your child immediately because some of gifted children cannot be good at maths. Sometimes they can be good at language arts, social sciences, science or art. So, they should be tested on problems consisting of all subjects.

7-Learning Speed

The general ability of gifted students is to comprehend a new material given quickly and apply it.

While you are telling him story of storks, you will realize that he has already learned how he was born.

But you mustn’t forget that a gifted child may learn slowly because every detail may be examined much more than a normal child. Considering all possibilities and applications is a different trait of him from others. This needs more time.

8-Insistence

A gifted child can motivate himself until he reaches his goal, if he wants.

While you are trying to cook dinner, he may insistently want you to tell him volcanic eruptions that he has seen on TV. Indeed, you may become like a volcano which is about to erupt.

9-Memory

Has he ever forgotten your promise to buy a cell phone for him?

Generally, a gifted child doesn’t have any trouble in memorizing a material that he will use in the future and in reminding this to his parents from time to time.

10-Premonition

It is the ability to learn something from experiences including his mistakes and guess what may happen in the same circumstances.

Your close friend has got a very naughty child and they will visit you. Remember that your child knows that his toys will be damaged and hides them and he leaves the useless and old ones around.

11-Ability to Make a Witty Remark and Have a Sense of Humour

They have a greater sense of humour based on insight than their peers and have the ability to realize hidden humour in anything.

12-Richness of Their Interest and Curiosity

General trait of gifted children is that they are interested in everything. They are always curious and they research everything. Their interest areas involve planes, dinosaurs, movies, seas, etc. They ask questions which are reasonable and require research. In addition to their questions, they have abilities of detailed observation and wishes to learn quickly.

Don’t be confused about their interests in stock exchange.

13-Alertness and a Natural Tendency towards Observation

A gifted child is fast to memorize a new thing and know all details of it. They can realize a detail in a historical thing, a motif on a carpet, a mineral among stones whereas nobody realizes them.

Your explanation about his pocket money isn’t enough for him and he observes incomes of the house and can get his pocket money increased by making a reasonable explanation.

14-Initiative and the Faculty of Making an Attempt

A gifted child immediately feels what he should do at any moment and get the situation under his control. If he doesn’t know how to do it, he turns to what he should know.

15-Ability to Create

Gifted children think thoroughly, clearly, firmly and critically. They develop many ideas and come up with different solutions to a problem. Their ideas can seem very crazy to us. But don’t forget that many developments which we use and know have originated from these crazy ideas.

16-Critical Judgement

The gifted are children who can think about suggestion made and consider probable results in advance and can think abstractly. At the same time, they may use this ability to question themselves or others. They compare solutions that they have imagined with the absolute solutions. Whatever happens, they question whether there is a mistake.

They can accuse you of your behaviour which is wrong in his opinion by criticizing your attitude towards his little sibling.

17-Desire to Serve

It is one of their best traits. It is their desire to help everyone.

It is enough for you to know these traits? You can think about the period until now and from now on according to these traits.

What are the problems of the gifted children in addition to their traits?

• They can sustain an insufficient social life or be lonely because they feel different from their peers.

•By setting unreal goals they can put themselves under pressure. They may reject to accept their mistakes. They can react excessively when they make a mistake.

•They can have problems in establishing a relationship with their siblings or friend since they always keep people’s attention.

Should these children be evaluated according to these traits only?

Sometimes parents make a mistake and compare emotional, physical and psychological development to mental development. In fact, emotional, physical or psychological problems which may appear at any age may also appear in gifted children. So, to generally know developmental traits of our children at their age will give us an advantage.

Developmental Traits of Primary School Students Aged between 6-11

In this period, children are calmer and more determined than former and later periods. Instinct and incentive put less pressure on children. They don’t express their anger, envy and aggression exactly.

In this period, children have inclination to be more independent and they get angry when his freedom is restricted.

Sibling rivalry does not come to end with child’s starting to school. He believes his sibling receives more attention.

Fears become less and they tend to be directed to real events. He fears from illnesses, accidents, death of his parents.

A primary school child’s affection displays towards his parents decrease when compared with the ones in pre-school period. These displays are directed to his teacher.

Shyness is often observed among 5^th grade students. Incompetence of child leads him to escape from the places where he sees unwanted people.

He feels satisfied if he is successful in learning knowledge and skills or he develops an inferiority complex if he is not successful.

When he is not supported and discouraged at school however much he is rewarded at home his self confidence declines.

Developmental Traits of Secondary and High School Students Aged between 12 and 18

It involves the adolescence period in which physical changes appear. Impulses which were inactive in the former period are revived and cause adolescent to fall into conflicts.  

Lack of physical maturity in adolescence and maturing later than peers shake self confidence of adolescent and make the transfer to adulthood difficult by harming personal and social adjustment.

Early maturation gives anxiety to adolescent. Adolescent leaving behind his peers with respect to his height and sexual traits can undergo temporary feelings of abstraction and exclusion.

During adolescence reasons for anger vary. The most important of all are problems caused by increased attention to opposite gender and prohibitions. Provocations from others, feeling abasement, harmed self esteem, unfulfilled wishes, spoiled plans, conflicting wishes between adolescent and his family, and problems in friendship relationships cause adolescent to get angry.

In this period, feeling of envy is dominant. At the beginning of the period, envy is directed to belongings however at the end of the period, it is directed to belongings which adolescents consider worth owning.

Feelings such as fear, shyness, and weariness in youth lead adolescent to perspire, escape, be clumsy and be petrified in astonishment.

These fears become less gradually. With the fear of losing his place in society, anxiety and sadness take place of other fears.

Anxieties related to future keep adolescent busy. As a respond to anxiety and sadness he withdraws and thinks.

At this stage, he whether achieves adolescent ego state or falls into role conflict. He strives to build a specific self identity in adolescence. Physical appearance and the need to be appreciated are of high importance.

Adolescent integrates with all of his past identifications. The vital question in this period is “who should I be?”

He has conflicting ideas between refusing and internalizing social values.

What should we do to solve problems which may arise in adolescence?

• We should teach them that time is valuable and it should be spent fruitfully.

• His self confidence should be supported. Suitable tasks should be given so that adolescent sees his own success.

• He should be given the opportunity of trying different roles being aware of that he should internalize positive role models not negative ones.

• Learning situations which form positive expectations for adolescent’s self concept should be created.

• Girls and boys should have the facility to do different sports to make them grasp that girls and boys are different genders.

• Adolescent should be able to express his thoughts and feelings.

• Adolescent should be informed about important issues such as school, marriage, choosing a job and his responsibilities.

To What Should We Pay Attention as Parents of Gifted or Talented Students?

• Gifted or talented children are like other children. They also need to be loved, understood, trusted and cared. Their needs are similar to the needs of ordinary children.

• We should neither be uninterested or excessively fond of them.

• We should not expect our children to realize our unfulfilled ambitions.

• Don’t put pressure on your children by raised expectations in school achievement. Always keep in your mind that they have other needs such as playing games.

• Keep your expectation on a logical level. While their cognitive skills are developing rapidly, other skills such as psychomotor will develop in accordance with their age. Don’t interpret this as postponement.

• Don’t exaggerate or ignore their success.

• Be aware of the fact that gifted children have difficulty in understanding the double standard of society. Their moral values are developed and they fall into conflicts since they cannot understand lies and other social contradictions.

• Consider them as a whole not only with respect to their talents, and communicate with them accordingly.

How can you help them?

• Tell them that everyone is unique and make them understand that giftedness is a trait, but don’t overemphasize it.

• Encourage them to pursue their ambitions.

• Give them opportunities to express themselves creatively, to solve problems creatively and to make them give positive responses to changes and stress. 

• Find creative ways to solve conflicts between members of the family.

• When you think that you are not informed about something, get help from experts.

• Another important source for your children is their friends. If it is possible, get into contact with support groups formed by parents of gifted children.

“There is no one I would like to resemble in my social circle. Of course, I want to be successful. However, I want to be myself. I’m unique and different from other people. I have a different personality. My ambition is always to be successful in the future and be better than the ones who have similar chances with me.”

From the autobiography of a student.

“If I weren’t a human and were an inanimate creature, I would be a pencil. Because, papers without pencils, books without papers, knowledge without books and civilizations without knowledge would not have any significance. That is the reason why I would be a pencil. What is the most pleasing for a pencil is that it witnesses a child’s learning to read. Why don’t you think that a child aged 7 is learning to read by means of you? This must be something like being a teacher. These are the feelings of a pencil. I would be a pencil due to its social benefits not its physical characteristics. Pencils are very social. Many people may own the same kind of pencils. Pencils are in the hands of an artist and of a columnist who expresses his ideas in writing. They are also in the hands of children who are in the far away places of Turkey. I’ve mentioned my views to you about pencils. I hope you don’t oppose me and agree with me.

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